It’s cold outside.
Really, really cold outside. Even the perpetually tawny cheeks of Floridians are feeling a bit chilled this day. While Texans and New Yorkers are responding in their respective stereotypical manner, even Midwesterners are tilting their heads at these sub-zero temps. The Canadians seem to still call this "January," but have put on an extra layer of whale blubber long johns out of precaution. Like bridges and branches, dangly bits are always the first to freeze.
Here are some suggestions to get to help pass this time of inconvenient chilliness:
10) Watch and appreciate the visual artistry of "Day After Tomorrow"
9) Try really hard to understand the phrase: "global warming" when it looks an awful lot like plain old "winter," outside
Credit: AP/Daily Mail of Allan Umscheid (Kansas)
8) Give up trying to understand that nonsense. Instead, go "green" and make a beer fridge
7) Engage in "One-upping" friends with "all the frozen things," pictures
— Melissa Maloney (@mjmaloney) January 6, 2014
6) Play the "Name Game"
— Garance Franke-Ruta (@thegarance) January 6, 2014
— Ellen Shapiro (@loudguitars) January 6, 2014
5) Drink cocoa and catch up on some humorous short stories
U.S. icebreaker to rescue 2 ships in Antarctica http://t.co/2WhjswoJxZ
— USA TODAY (@USATODAY) January 5, 2014
On why it would be quite wrong to laugh about Prof Chris Turkey and his Antarctic Ship of Fools: Should evil c… http://t.co/eFhnFsUhJP
— Redmond (@Redomondo) January 6, 2014
4) Two words: Cat videos
3) Collectively appreciate the dedication and insanity of Green Bay Packers fans
2) Re-evaluate the silliness of The Snuggie
Credit: Batman Snuggie by thisiswhyimbroke.com
1) Collectively hate on Southern California
Credit: Ginger Zee