It’s cold outside.
Really, really cold outside. Even the perpetually tawny cheeks of Floridians are feeling a bit chilled this day. While Texans and New Yorkers are responding in their respective stereotypical manner, even Midwesterners are tilting their heads at these sub-zero temps. The Canadians seem to still call this "January," but have put on an extra layer of whale blubber long johns out of precaution. Like bridges and branches, dangly bits are always the first to freeze.
Here are some suggestions to get to help pass this time of inconvenient chilliness:
10) Watch and appreciate the visual artistry of "Day After Tomorrow"
Credit: AP/Daily Mail of water covered building in Plattsmouth, Nebraska
9) Try really hard to understand the phrase: "global warming" when it looks an awful lot like plain old "winter," outside
Credit: AP/Daily Mail of Allan Umscheid (Kansas)
8) Give up trying to understand that nonsense. Instead, go "green" and make a beer fridge
7) Engage in "One-upping" friends with "all the frozen things," pictures
6) Play the "Name Game"
5) Drink cocoa and catch up on some humorous short stories
3) Collectively appreciate the dedication and insanity of Green Bay Packers fans
Credit: Mike McGinnis/Getty Images
2) Re-evaluate the silliness of The Snuggie
1) Collectively hate on Southern California