Categorized | Commentary/Editorial

16 Sweetest Reasons to Goof on The Obamacare Bracket

Like a lot of people, I’ve been giggling/eye rolling at the marketing onslaught being directed at America’s youth like a squadron of flying monkeys spilling out of the Wicked Witch’s castle. THIS latest bombing run however, had me diving for a gas mask due to the amount of desperation wafting through the land:

Vote for your favorite reason (and GIF) to get covered


Next on deck: Tweet out all the fun ways you can pay your income taxes!

Essentially, the White House typed out 16 sentences of "duh" that wouldn’t impress Captain Obvious and added cat gifs to them. Conspicuously absent: any mention of "premiums" and "deductibles."

Imagine that…

1) Nobody’s invincible

O_RLYWe need that sweet, sweet invincible blood to make this vampire fly.

2) It’s the smart thing to do

you dont know meBuy crummy plans with high deductibles or save money and chug the NyQuil for the one yearly allergy attack? Hmmm

3) You never know when you’ll take a hard foul

Foulor when the Administration changes the rules on you.

4) Health care should be a right, not a privilege

Ricky-Gervais-Putting-Head-Back-and-LaughingIt’s not like they’ll ever FORCE Doctors to treat people, right? That’s like forcing people to buy a product…oh.

5) You might qualify for free or low-cost coverage

JustKidding2Well hello, Ms. Premium. Have you met Mr. Deductible?

6) You only live once

JudgingYouDeduct 10pts from Slytherin for using "YOLO."

7) Checkups could save your life

Ron-Swanson-Says-Dont-Even-CareHusbands everywhere: Still don’t care.

8) Injuries can lead to huge medical bills

DuhYour body is the most expensive, complex and fragile machine you’ll ever own.

9) It will give your mom peace of mind

confused-gif1Especially since she’s paying the tab until your 26! Womp Womp

10) Insurance companies are accountable to you

Barney-s-Evil-Laugh-barney-stinson-28536275-500-282HAHAHAHAHAHA *breathes* HAHAHAHAHA

11) No lifetime limits on coverage

"Thanks to the Affordable Care Act, you’ll never worry about losing your coverage when you need it most."


12) Insurance companies can’t discriminate

BigbangRoadTripYou’ll just be out of network. But that’s okay, 3 hour road trip!

13) Birth control is free

NotTrueNothing in this world is free except bad advice, children.

14) Because accidents happen

"Just one accident could mean huge medical bills that you can’t afford."

big-eye-actingWait, my deductible is how much?!

15) Being uninsured is scary

SorryNotPeople who had plans cancelled last year: Yeah. We know.

16) It’s the Law. We think. Probably.


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  • travelingon

    "..squadron of flying monkeys spilling out of the Wicked Witch’s castle…"

    Too funny! I can hear the background music now and see the wicked witch of the west rolling those green hands of hers.

    I’m voting for #5 and # 10.

  • Chris

    Your posts always crack me up and have a great point to them at the same time. Great way to start a Monday after a long weekend of basketball games.
    Favorite GIF is #14…can’t beat the old school where actors actually had to act.
    Just one question where are the Disney gifs at?

  • MarkRNY

    It’s OMM (Our MM) with another classic!

    Another reason is that you can get various "exotic" diseases when your new premiums drive you into a homeless shelter or a cardboard box under the Brooklyn Bridge.

    Btw OMM…any ideas where Sarah got the inspiration for her Green Eggs and Ham routine at CPAC??–Any at all?!

    Way to go Michelle. We’ve missed you!

  • hope4palins

    #8 just cracks me up, probably because it’s Miley Cyrus. I’ve missed your GIF’s, they are always brilliant. Made my day, thank you.

  •!/ThomasSSchmitz Thomas S Schmitz

    OH NO! Where’s the Lena gif M? You know I like to make fun of HBO’s "Girls"…Anyway…I vote #9 (and BOOO Lena D!)

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